My phone bricked itself at, what would seem to be, the worst time possible. But it enabled a study in the dependence on phones that otherwise would never realistically happen.
As it turns out, Tuesday evening of Thanksgiving week is a pretty bad time to need something in this modern age of rapid shipping we live in.
Phone bricks itself arbitrarily on Tuesday, new one requested Wednesday, Thursday is a holiday. Order processed on Friday. Ships on Monday. Arrives on Wednesday.
Alas, seven days without a phone.
A Necessity that ain’t so Necessary
Most of us wouldn’t hesitate to state that we NEED our phones. But I discovered that we don’t actually really NEED our phones. We actually just THINK we NEED our phone. We will actually survive just fine without it.
NOW, the phone does serve some pretty critical functions in modern life, and I’ll dip into those, but it’s worth approaching the concept with beginner’s mind and really challenge that NEED that we perceive.
Actually, we NEED a break
From my perspective, seven days without a phone was liberating.
No notifications, dings, vibrations, or being at the beck and call of anyone, let alone, EVERYONE else on Earth. Rather, I found that it was easier to be present with the people I was with. Which, over Thanksgiving,was my family. So, frankly, it was nice.
Nice enough for me to at least consider the idea of scheduling a multi-day break from my phone periodically over the course of the year. It’s not something I’ve implemented yet, but definitely considering.
How It Changed My Life
That long but temporary hiatus from phone ownership did result in a few important changes in the way I use my phone which I am grateful for and want to share with you:
Implementing a Charging / Message Station
I’m working with a guy now who I cannot wait to introduce you to, but one of his tips was to build, what he calls, a “Message Station” at home.
The Message Station is where the electronic devices go at home when it’s time to focus on being with the people you’re with. In addition to a place to locate phones and tablets and the like, I want to make mine a place that also has a full suite of chargers so that the location serves two purposes, which can also help motivate us to use it.
The way this has manifested itself in my house is that when I get home from work I place my phone on the computer desk which is located away from the living spaces. The phone stays there until the kids are tucked into bed.
When I didn’t have my phone I would periodically turn on the computer to check my email and messages and not once did I miss an urgent notification. That knowledge helped provide the comfort that if my phone leaves my body for a few hours a day, nothing will happen other than my being more present with the people I’m with.
The last step will be to add a littler order to the location to make it slightly more official and to add an organized set of chargers to make it more functional.
No Social Media on the Phone
In what might be considered a dramatic and bold move, when I got my new phone I did not install any social media apps.
I found that in not having my phone, and having continuous access to my Facebook feed, I actually didn’t miss anything when I checked it twice a day on the computer. So, now I just check it twice a day on the computer and it opens up TONS of time in my day.
It’s amazing.
And, like a well-trained monkey, I can notice my subconscious desire to check Facebook only to find it unavailable so that I then carry on with my life doing things that are more meaningful. This is actually really liberating and I highly recommend you explore this as a possibility. Just remove the apps. You won’t lose any data or anything. It’s still on your feed online. You just need to turn on a computer to see it. You won’t miss a damn thing and, if you carry a book or a journal with you, you could potentially dramatically improve your mental space and your life.
Balancing the Scale
I hate it when people pretend there’s only one side to a coin, so before I close I want to include a few comments on the applications that are genuinely useful.
- Knowledge and Content – Some apps that I really missed were the Calm app for meditation and the Pocket Casts app for podcasts.Both of these services genuinely add value to my life and I’m happy to have them back.
- Navigation – Some of my work involves driving to places that are unfamiliar to me, so having access to guided navigation on the fly is legitimately necessary for my way of life.
- Being in Reach – the double edged sword. On the one hand, there is some liberty in having periods of inaccessibility, on the other, part of my job (and thus my livelihood) is to be able to be reached. I cushioned the blow by sending out an email to relevant people that I could be reached through my wife in the event of an emergency.
- Emergency Calls – It wasn’t until my wife left me home with the kids did it occur to me that there is really no way for me to contact first responders if anything went horribly wrong. We don’t have a landline anymore. I did realize I have a phone from a previous service provider that still works and the emergency call feature provided us the sense of security we are accustomed to.
Seven Days Without a Phone
Consider turning your phone off for a few days, if for nothing else, to observe the impact that it has on your life. What’s ACTUALLY necessary?
If that’s too brazen, consider uninstalling a few social media apps. Are those really your “friends”? Or is that a social engineering trick to keep you engaged? Not one “friend” has asked me where I’ve been now that I almost no longer use social media. Just sayin…
Balance this all around the concept that modern electronic devices truly serve utility, and consider designing your use of them around the actual utility.
Spending time with the people I’m with,
NHMan
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