Happiness is only true when it is shared.
A life of freedom and fulfillment hinges upon having meaningful relationships. This isn’t about a Facebook friend count, or twitter followers, this is about the few people who actually know you, and who you can share your life with. The good and the bad. You’ve heard that Facebook is the highlight reel, the people who you have meaningful relationships with get the rest of the show too.
Anyone who is, or has been, married will back me up on this; marriage is hard. And if you’ve raised kids you know that parenting is hard too. This area of your life, relationships, will be one of the hardest areas to work on, yet it holds the most potential to bring happiness. It’s worth the hard work.
And in a world that has been connected like never before, I have met few people who can say with confidence that they’ve found their tribe. The people who understand your pursuits and dreams and who provide encouragement and understanding for you as you go. Most people you know don’t care. And that’s ok, because you don’t care about their dreams either.
The most impactful relationships in life are your spouse (or partner), you children, and your community.
The Spousal Relationship
Tim Urban wrote eloquently about how crazy we are that we spend so much energy trying to find a job, yet allow fate to determine who we spend the rest of our life with. If you’re not yet married, think about that, and be deliberate in choosing your life partner. If you are already married, go forward knowing that marriage is hard but you’ll get as much out of it as you put into it. My objective is to help you figure out ways to put in the right energy, to get the most out of it for both of you.
If one thing has helped me in my marriage, it’s open and deliberate communication. I will confess it’s something that I still struggle with, largely because I’m such a dreamer. I’ll share what I learn about communication, and everything else I work on to improve my marriage under this category.
How To Build a Strong Relationship With Your Spouse
Raising Kids
I think kids are awesome. It’s not for everyone, but it’s totally for me. They bring so much energy with them everywhere they go. Sometimes it’s positive, and sometimes not, but there’s always energy. Like being married, being a parent is super hard. The better a parent you want to be, the harder it’s going to be.
I think, read, and listen deliberately for ways to be a better father. As my daughter turned five, I worked on applying a more self-guided approach. I try to let her make as many decisions for herself as possible. The logic is that the sooner our kids can make their own decisions, the better they’ll be at understanding repercussions, and, hopefully, the happier they’ll be in the future. As I continue to learn about parenting, and implement new ideas, I’ll share the insight here.
How to Raise Confident Autonomous People
Growing Community
Community covers a wide spread of people. Pretty much everyone who lives outside your home. I love the concept of your family being your community, and your community being your family. The trend these days is to ‘find your tribe’. That group of like-minded people who bring out the best version of you and who you can lean on to keep you motivated toward reaching your goals. For those of us who are trying, we’ve discovered that finding your ACTUAL tribe is quite hard. Most people haven’t found their tribe. The first step in making it happen, however, is to put yourself out there and search.
I’ve implemented a few things in search of my tribe. I’m an active volunteer in a town committee. I help moderate a town Facebook group, and am active in a few other groups. The trick, in my opinion, is to figure out how to move relationships outside of the digital domain. Social media is a brilliant way to find like-minded people, but to build true, strong relationships, it has to move beyond the internet.
As I figure out ways to find and grow my tribe I’ll share what works here. I welcome you to reach out if you think we might mesh.
If Happiness Is the Goal
I consume a lot of content on financial independence, health and fitness, and lifestyle design and not many people deliberate on how connected everything is, nor on what leads to true happiness. I think, above all else, If there is ONE thing that can lead to true happiness, it’s strong relationships with the right people. I hope that resonates with you, and if so, please keep in touch and consider signing up for my email list.
For the other separate, but connected, parts of life please check out my Money, Health and Resilience pages.